The Great War has begun. We're all doomed.

You must pick a side. This isn't possible, and You'll be killed for not choosing. You'll be killed for choosing. Either way, You're dead.

"The End Has Come. And it is here. We are all doomed unless we take a side." - an unnamed prophet






"Desire is irrelevant. I am a machine." -Terminator 2: Judgement Day









"Ohhh, look honey, our boy's a genius! He's rigged a pully system so he can eat sausage and work on his stupid drawings." - Freddy Got Fingered

World War Three has begun. And it's not what you think. This isn't Muslims versus Jews. This isn't Communists versus Free Thinkers. This isn't Russia versus whoever was stupid and drunk enough to take those crazy bastards on. This isn't the United States and Canada vs Everyone else. This isn''t Saint Kitts and Nevis against versus the Pitcairn Islands. This war is much more important.

This war will determine the fate of 6.5 Billion people.
That's over 20,000 innocent people!

Some wars will be fought with sticks. Some will be fought with guns. Some will be fought with nuclear weapons.




World War Three is fought with something much, much, much worst.

And the thing is, nobody nows it's a weapon.

If you're in the know you know by now what I'm talking about.

World War III is not fought with conventional weapons.








This war is fought with...




... Cuteness!




That's right. I'm talking about Pandas. Versus. Dolphins.

Some of you won't take me seriously.

In fact, the vast majority of people refuse to take a side.

they use excuses like "I don't care about animals"
or "They're both too cute to decide!"

And that's what I'm talking about.
They're both too cute to decide.

Too cute.

To Decide.


Let me give you some brief history:

In 1918, a simple, well meaning person came up with a great unanswerable question, "Which do you prefer, Dolphins, or Penguins?"
This question changed the fate of humanity as we know it.
The man couldn't answer the question.

the Dolphins knew they were the cutest.
The penguins knew they were the cutest.
The first global interspecies war had just begun, but nobody knew.

Dolphins grilled the man for answers. He said he could not choose.

It was impossible.

the Dolphins grew angry.

The Penguins questioned the man as well.
Despite their peaceful nature, the penguins were the first to make a move.

They kidnapped the man's wife. They held a gun to her head and asked the man again.
"PENGUINS. OR DOLPHINS."

"I... I... I. Just can't answer that!" the man responded, crying.

"Then that settles it." The penguin pulled the trigger.

The dolphins made a counter attack.

They started asking people the question as well.

They murdered whoever didn't answer, which was everyone they asked.

Soon the Dolphins began fighting against the people, and the penguins. The war was just getting bloody.

In the end, 50 million people died.

But nobody knew about it, because of the greatest conspiracy ever created.

a couple thousand people died of the flu around the same time of the dolphins penguins war, and the Spanish government created this whole "Spanish flu" thing to cover it up.

But in the end, the dolphins won using brute force.

...


Most people forgot about the penguins vs dolphins war, but a few key people remember.

Those people gathered in a secret place for a secret meeting this past week.

People have already begun asking the question.

"so which are cuter, pandas, or dolphins"

This is the question that will doom humanity.

The experts agree. The war has begun. There's no stopping it now.

The only way to survive is to pick a side.

Your life depends on it.


choose a side. pick one right now. dolphins. or penguins. stick to it, and you may survive.

I will not reveal my pick, for i don't want to come of as preachy.

But do your research and pick wisely. You never know what will happen.


But know this.

The great war has begun.

We're all doomed unless we take a side.